What A Pervert!
My granddad, or Papa as we call him, is about as old fashioned as it gets, and he is a man of very few words. He’s the type of elderly man, 74 I believe, that thinks anything modern such as music, television shows, books, etc. is corrupt and should be like it was in the “good ole days.” Because of his beliefs, he basically views everything and everyone as perverted. Now I want you to picture a family dinner where everyone is talking and having a good time, and then something is said about the government, a new movie, or something slightly risque. The dinner table is abuzz with laughter, and then Papa chimes in from his chair at the end of the table with one word…”Pervert.” He hasn’t been a part of the entire conversation, but whenever he hears something that pertains to a subject he disagrees with, everyone knows it because now that person or thing has been deemed as perverted. We all crack up whenever he calls someone perverted, because he sees even the most innocent things as perverted. Just yesterday he accused Paula Dean as being perverted because she winked at the camera during one of her shows. Apparently down-home country cooking is too over-the-top for Papa!
Papa’s frivolous use of the word “pervert” has become a part of many jokes and conversations in our family. Whenever someone says they are going to get ready for bed, watch TV, eat, or anything that is completely innocent, the room will get quiet for a second and then, under their breath, someone will mutter “pervert.” To many people the word “pervert” only applies to people who are actually perverted. But in my family, you never know when you’ll be accused of being a pervert!
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-Morgan Ezzell