Holy, Cow–I Mean, Holy Koi!
I have two uncles on my mom’s side of the family. Both are younger than her by several years. When they were very young, they lived next to a neighbor that kept koi in giant clay tubs in their yard. One day, when they were playing in the yard, they felt a surge of sympathy for the koi fish. They thought the fish were very sad, living in a wet and cold home that never saw the sun, so they decided to do the koi a service and help them sunbathe. One by one, they took out the koi and laid them in the sun on the sidewalk. Later, they would testify to my grandparents that this was very hard work since the fish were slippery and would flop around in protest. Needless to say, no fish survived the incident, and the neighbor got a nasty surprise when he came home. My grandfather had to pay for the damages and probably gave my uncles a good spanking as well.
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